Happy New Year!
How was 2011? Good? Bad? Meh?
Mine was…well, better than 2010, and that’s good enough for me.
We’ve seen the beginning of God’s amazing work in healing PRCC after the passing of our beloved founding pastor, Greg Ellis, into glory. New life is blooming under the pastoral care of our new shepherd, Shawn Penn, and it’s wonderful to see our sanctuary filling up again. I love my church family—every single member—and I look forward to walking with all of you into His will.
I’m almost fully recovered from a long stretch of debilitating depression that lasted nearly two years, and I think my marriage is beginning to recover from that, too.
I’m a different person than I was; it’s amazing how protracted grief can change who you are. I’m no longer as loud and boisterous and outgoing as I used to be, and while some of you might wonder how that’s even remotely possible, those who have known me for awhile see the truth in that. I enjoy solitude and long for peace and quiet in my free time, and I’m beginning to learn how to be a gentle and quiet spirit. I’m still a long way from that, mind you, but I’m closer than ever I was before.
I’m worse at keeping in touch with people than I used to be, though, and I see how this is a serious problem I’ll need to face in 2012. I can’t be a good daughter/sister/friend/group leader if I never return phone calls and texts. What started out as “just wanting to be left alone to my own devices/misery” has become a negligence I can’t justify. So, if you’ve been on the receiving end of this, I want you to know: I’m trying hard to be better. Habits caused (and reinforced) by emotional distress are really, really hard to break, and I’ve never been good at intentionally changing anything about myself. Well, unless you count my hair color or the number of holes in my face.
All in all, I’m looking forward to who I’ll become this year: a better wife, friend, employee, group leader, and christian. Tall order.
I’m hoping to finally beat menometrorrhagia, or at the last resort, have my freaking uterus cut out. Six plus years of almost constant bleeding and countless trips to numerous doctors has me begging for a solution—just about any solution. Hemorrhaging, missed work, and trips to the ER are so last year. I’d rather forget all of that in 2012. I think I can honestly say I’d be okay with not having biological children as long as this mystery bleeding stops, and conversations with my husband about adoption are happening more frequently than ever. Bring it on.
Joel and I officially became God parents to some of the most amazing kids on the planet in 2011, and while the prospect of losing our best friends and suddenly becoming parents to four grieving kids is absolutely terrifying, we are both humbled and pleased to have the honor. Dave? Krissy? You’re not allowed to die, okay?
These people, and so many more, are dear to Joel and I. They truly are family, and I can’t wait to see what the new year will do for all of us.
It’s gonna be so great.